This has been a very hard year, but in the end you are still in love with me, and I with you. I still struggle with who I am to you. But I know who you are to me and who I am. For now, I am the lost.
I have lost myself completely to you. I have lost all boundaries, and all sense of distance and propriety. I am completely lost in love with you. I have become one half of two.
Two people can become so entwined with each other, that they don’t know who is who, or what is what. The entwining becomes so complete that any separation at all seems like a bitter sweet death that one lives through hoping to live again at some far distant rejoining where heaven awaits and life returns again. Living and dying are confused as this life becomes both a heaven and a hell to the living. I am that one of two. and I want to know where you are.
This is who you are to me. You are this contradiction in my life. You are the resurrection in a form that I can see and understand more clearly and just as beautifully as the other that will come. You have become life to me as well as death, except that now I fear life and separation from you with more trepidation than the death of my mortal body. Life without you would be the death of my soul and a greater loss than the simple closing of my eyes and the eternal sleep follows without the resurrection, a day that would me nothing without you in it. So I pray that on that day that I will awake once again, and that you will be there with me in it.
If not what is the point of dreaming?