Lovers Walk (Photo credit: ~~Tone~~)
I wrote this to Catnip last year at a time that it hurt her. She called angry and we didn’t speak for a month, 30 days exactly. During that time a lot happened to her and I think that in a way it also bound us together as well. I realize its not your standard love letter, but she’s not your standard woman either.
I am honest and forthright with you. I admit I don’t always understand you or us completely. But I do love you, and I know that there is an “Us”. I know you’re looking for the right man, and that it’s not me. I am missing some of the fundamental things you need. I’m sure things would be different if I were single. But I certainly have many of the things that you want: like compassion and forgiveness, and you can have them for a very long time. I will always be there for you. As long as you have the courage to have me and to embrace what you now only play with.
Now I am asking you for more.
I know you are direct enough to take it straight so I will be straight. You care about me and you are attracted to me. You like teasing me and flirting with me and you like my attention, and I want more of this.
I know about some of the men you’ve had in your life and I know how hard you try to please them, how you care for them, and I know the way they treat you, shitting on you, leaving you hollow inside, or needing, or alone.
Well fuck all of them and who they turned out to be.
You know who I am and what I am and I want to be there for you, and I want you to embrace me, to embrace us! Maybe that’s a challenge since I lack so many of the things so fundamental to a relationship with you. But as unconventional as our relationship is, it is real and rare and you know that it will be enduring.
I think that scares you that I am real, that you love me and you shouldn’t, and I shouldn’t. But it is real and why would anyone ever want to let that go or leave that behind?
So please don’t!
Embrace it, no matter what you have to do to keep it and I will do the same.
We have a foundation that most relationships lack and that I think you are cautious of. It is either that, or you don’t care for me as I think you do, which is just too painful to imagine.
I don’t want to hurt you or piss you off by saying this, but I think you’re scared of embracing what we have together. You enjoy the small moments with me, the tenderness that you so rarely allow yourself with me because you have been hurt before and because of who we are and I think because you either want to be able to say goodbye, or so that you won’t have to say goodbye. But I don’t want you to give up on love or give up on us, ever!
You want those tenderness’s but you protect yourself from them too. You isolate portions of yourself from me to protect yourself and control things. It seems to me that what you crave is what you deny yourself, a softness that balances out the voracious sexy animal in your that you want to set free with me but don’t.
That’s what I think I see. Fuck all that stupid shit, put it aside and trust me and tell me that you want to fuck me and be my lover. I’m trying to make a case her for you being my mistress, my dirty little secret, my hot little piece of ass, my lover!
Let’s have hot, intense, sweaty, amazing lustful, horny, beautiful, bit your nipples until they are cherry red make you squirt sex! I know the challenges. But be my lover!
Let me tell you what I want and let me hold you in my arms as you tell me what you want and what you feel! I don’t ever want to lose you and I want more!
I will listen when you talk. I will return your phone calls and make you a priority. I will learn how you take your Frappuccino’s. I will talk to you and tell you everything you ever longed to hear from a lover and they will all be genuine, enduring and true!
When you hear those words as they come out of my lips and off of my tongue, you will want to taste my mouth. And then you will realize there is a heat between your legs and thighs and you will ask me to take you and we will make love to each other.
You have looked at me before with desire in your eyes and held back. I’m asking you to let go with me. I will never take you for granite, I will worship you. I will be gentle and slow and you will laugh. I will let the tension build in a way you’ve probably never felt before because I will care about you, not me. I will brush the hair out of your eyes and you will think of every romantic notion you have ever though about because you have that connection all along. I will give you peace. Something you always wanted an you will realize that it feels the way you always imagined it would and it will be real.
I know your strong, but let me see you soft! Let me see that you’re a woman. Let me see the beautifu creature that you are. Let me touch you, and feel your soft skin, your soft hair, the mape of your neck and you soft shoulder. Let me tough your soft belly and taste your soft lips. Maybe you will blush, maybe you will be nervous, but let me kiss you and you’ll forget all the things that bother you and embrace what you already long to be embraced by.
If you do, this is when you will truly feel and know unconditional love. Because I truly love you no matter what, I will never fail you.
My hands are powerful, but let me show you that they are also gentle, my tongue and fingers can be soft and they can be pushy. Let me touch you with each of them. Let’s kiss and make it and epic kiss, the kind that makes your jaws sore the next day. The kind that starts painfully slow where the lust and the desire of those kisses mask the gentle searching of my hands as they gently explore you, caress you, undress you. With the sound of our hearts pumping like cannon on repeat, the taste will be wet, and salty and sweet as you surrender not only to the moment, but to me, your lover.
I will breath your name into your mouth and you will inhale my want, I will talk dirty to you and tell you what a fucking beautiful woman you are and how bad I want to taste your pussy.
Be my lover, let me fuck you. Let me make you cum over and over again. Let me make you squirt. Make love to the man who has always loved you. Tell me that you’ll be my lover
I love you.