I heard you last night in a way I had never heard you before. When I called and spoke, I heard your words, you said. “Can I call you
back in 5 minutes, I’m just finishing the dishes”. It made me happy that you would call me back and I said. ‘Yes”
I was in my car and had made an excuse to leave for a few minutes so we could talk. It was a flimsy excuse and would only hold for a few minutes so I sat waiting. I watched the clock, Tic, toc, waiting, Two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, Five minutes and my heart started beating faster, six minutes, Seven minutes, no call, at about the 15 minute mark I knew I had to go home and that I wouldn’t get to talk to you and headed home.
I was sad because we had such a nice lunch and I was looking forward to hearing your sexy voice again and as I drove I thought of something that had touched me before. I was simply glad that you were nice enough to take my call at all. Then as I thought about that it started to developed into something else.
I realized that I didn’t know what you were going through right then or what you were doing and I thought about what you said again except this time what I heard as I replayed it in my mind was not what you said to me but what you “Felt” to me as you spoke to me! What your voice and your demeanor and your tone said to me in addition to the words which was:
“Thanks for calling me, I want to talk to you but right now is not a good time. I’m in the middle of something. But your important to me and I want to talk to you too, but it will take a few minutes or so but not too long, I just need a little time and I can make it happen. I care enough about you to make it happen if you love me enough to just give me a bit of time we can talk. I could blow you off but I’m not doing that. I’m trying to talk to you, I just need a little time. Can I call you back when I get free?”
As I thought about it, it felt as if the sun was rising inside my chest and a warmth came over me that seemed to fill me with a vision that lit up everything from our past with this same truth. That you love me and that you make time for me and that you need me.
I’m sorry that it has taken me so long to see how beautiful you really are and to really see how much you love me. I love you and will always love you. That might be a challenge for you in the future, but for now, thank you for loving me. I wrote you a poem that I will post soon.
And thank you for calling me just a little bit later when your evening freed up. I love you.
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