I cheat because…
We (I) constantly wage war with who we are and who we want to be and even what we want. We choose our identities. I question that and sometimes the question “Why” is the hardest to answer.
Some people hate or hurt or destroy because they see no other option for whatever reason, shame, guilt, religion, tradition, social convention whatever. I see no reason to hurt someone else because of my decisions and so I hide what I am doing.
Sometimes our beliefs don’t harmonize with our instincts, and hour behaviors don’t always conform with our beliefs, I constantly struggle with right and wrong. I wage war with who I am and with who and what I want to be. I measure that against my values and against what I want and where I am.
But in the end we get to choose our identities based on those struggles. Some people choose to hurt, or hate or destroy or to use others. Sometimes there are few choices and sometimes there are many.
But for me I love is complex. Maybe for you it is black and white. I think we all go through different forms of love in our lives. Sometimes love includes many difficult things and people make decisions based on many things and I don’t judge or discount others for their decisions. But for me I cheat because I love. Some may scoff at that idea, to them I simply say I feel sorry for them.
I’d been married many years before I met Catnip. I had never strayed and I had been a model husband or so many people had commented. I met Catnip at her work then later and worked side by side with her every day for a year, literally sitting next to her. She was a flirt and so was I. I always had been but I had never cheated before. But I fell in love with Catnip. She was beautiful, charming, smart, funny, I could list a thousand things. For many months I loved her without saying a thing to her about it.
Then a day came when she told me she was leaving. She had given her notice a couple of weeks before and on the day she was about to walk out, I knew I would never see her again, so I wrote her a quick note and handed it to her as she was walking out the door. In a year I had never bumped into her socially, never seen her outside of work. I knew I would never see her again, so I told her in my parting note that I loved her. I wanted her to know how I felt about her and that she was awesome.
She called me a little later from the parking lot. She told me she read the note and cried and read it again and again, and she told me she loved me to! BANG, WHAT! My head spun, I couldn’t believe it. So I didn’t have to never see her again, I could see her if I wanted to and I did and we became very close and I love her dearly.
So I know many of you have all the answers, how I should not have flirted, no last minute love letter, don’t talk on the phone, be true to your wife and family, and on and on. But to each of those things I have my own reply just as valid as yours.
So what should I do? Un-fall in love? Destroy my family? Hurt My wife, whom I love and care for and support not matter what those who judge me might think? Hurt my kids, in-laws, relatives? Run away with Catnip and take her from her family and children and friends? Damage her reputation with her work or her friends, those who would judge her or us?
If so Why?
My best friend has been married to the same woman for 28 years. He told me at the end of his 1st year that marrying her was a mistake and he wished he had not married her but by then he had a son. He’s told me every year since that he wished he was not married to her and that it was a mistake. To the whole world he looks to have 4 kids and the perfect marriage, and he hates his life. She has confided to me many times how happy she is and that he is perfect.
Life is complex, people have to make hard decisions. I don’t care what other people think. The least happy people I know are those that got their pound of flesh from their spouse when the spouse admitted to che
ating. Want to see misery there area hundred He done me wrong blogs you could look at. No one is more self-centered or pathetic that the “He done me wrong crowd”
I choose to cheat, and I will answer to God and him only.
I know, I’m an Asshole!
- Why women Cheat! Im just saying… (strukurevip.wordpress.com)
- Im a lier and a Cheat and Im fine with that. (primalnights.wordpress.com)
- You cheat! I Cheat! We all cheat? (sexandthecincy.wordpress.com)
- Boulevard of Broken Promises. (lifeaswethinkweknowit.wordpress.com)
- Cheat on Your Job with Your Spouse #3: Value. Cows. Why? (thevoiceofjobseekers.com)
- In Which I Decide That Relationships Are Bad For My Sanity (crazyxcrafty.wordpress.com)
- Babyboy likes catnip now? (bboymskitty.wordpress.com)
- Catnip makes for happy, happy kitties. (thinkjunk.wordpress.com)