And I know that. I hide you from people the same way you do me and I don’t look at that in terms of something I am ashamed of or proud of, or whatever of. I don’t give a damn what other people think or say.
Oddly enough I have never felt bad about “cheating” with you. Because I’m not cheating, I’m being honest with me and you and hiding that from everyone else, and I know I might get some flack for that but that’s fine. But I am wonderful to my wife and I don’t take anything from her and I treat her like a queen. I love you and that’s that. I hide you because its the only way to keep you and you can only be as honest as your allowed because if anyone knew our true relationship, no one would allow it to continue and not only that people would interfere and try to hurt you or others over it.
You’ve called me selfish before. Fine, if that’s what it is to keep our relationship, but your a little selfish when it comes to me too, and I’m glad of it. I’m a grown man and I know how I feel and how your feel, at least in large part, and what I’m not going to do it let something happen to frustrate our relationship that has nothing to do with the truth, and that includes how we treat each other.
I’m going to hold your hand, and I’m going to kiss you and I’m going to make love to you because that’s what is right in for us. I’m not going to hurt you in the process, but In not going to let you hurt yourself either. You can pull away when you need to pull away, you can chide me, you can walk away, you can do a lot of things, but you can’t un-love me and I would let you pretend you don’t love me, at least not in the long run. I will give you space when you need it, and I will be respectful of you and your feelings and your needs even when they include space. I will who we are from people around you and from those you care about and I will continue to feed your needs, to love you and to comfort you and to support you. But don’t ask me to hid my love for you and pretend that it does not exist, That I wont do. I wont pretend with you that our relationship is something its not.
I know it makes our lives complex and sometimes hard, but that’s what it is. Its hard enough having to steal away precious few moments with you and to see you have to pretend with other people that I am something less to you than what I am, don’t pretend we are not lovers with me, when we are.
Loving you is already hard because of what I want that you will never be able to give me. I miss a thousand mundane things with you like talking while we clean the kitchen, or buying groceries at the store, or picking up around that house, or cleaning out the garage or a thousand other things I want to do just to spend time near you. I won’t get to visit you family, or get to know your parents, which I’d love to do, or get to know all the little things you don’t like or all the things that you love. I’d love all those little domestic chores, I would cherish every moment with you, every dull thing that so many people take for granite. So please don’t ask me to pretend when were together that we are something less that what we are because there is already so much we can never share.
Can’ wait to see you in the nipple clamps :-)
I love you Catnip.
- Does waiting for someone with “issues” ever work out? (ask.metafilter.com)
- Numbers 1-5 (godismymrrightnow.wordpress.com)
- Day 22 (amatuerexpert.wordpress.com)
- [Get Your Ex Back] How To Know If Your Man Has Cheated (gsekslgw.wordpress.com)
- ‘The Sadness We Share’: A Gchat With Steve Roggenbuck And Mira Gonzalez (thoughtcatalog.com)
- You say that I’m needy. Im sure that your right. (primalnights.wordpress.com)
- Dear Catnip. I Have A Favor to Ask you. (primalnights.wordpress.com)
- 2002 Porsche 911 GT2 – Peter Lier and Ian Stewart (motortrend.com)
- Listen To Me! No, You Listen To Me, Darn It! (atouchofher.wordpress.com)
- 4 Reasons Women Cheat (everydayhealth.com)