Do you remember the lunch i wrote this poem about?
I saw the sun in the east this morning
climbing toward her new day knowing
that you and I would meet for lunch
and I wondered if you saw her as you
sat cuddling your morning coffee and if
you thought of me as I had thought of you
and as we sat, the sunlight kissed
your warm brown cheeks and I smiled
as I saw the delicate little white lines
at the corner of your eyes as you
squinted and when it was time to go I
envied the sun as she caressed your naked
shoulders and danced in your summer hair
We met for lunch at a Mexican place and you had Spinach Enchiladas. You were wearing something shoulder less. I’d never seen your shoulders before and I thought that you were quite beautiful. It was June 25th 2011.
It was an odd day for me because something about you had changed and I couldn’t put my finger on it. You were kind and polite, and that’s just not you;-). Your a lot more fun than that. But this day you were setting new boundaries for me because as I found out later you had started towards living with “The Asshole” so you needed to put me back in my bottle a little bit.
You were kind and smiled but you were also reserved, which is definitely not you. You asked me bland colorless questions and avoided eye contact. You drew away from me in a number of ways, you put a new distance between us when we walked and when I reached out for your hand you pulled away. I didn’t know what the fuck? I couldn’t eat because I was trying to take it all in and as the conversation went on the tension built between us. The lack of intimacy started to take on a weight of its own as if the air were as thick as water and things slowed down. Nothing moved as it should, time had rusted into an odd and dying thing.
You saw it to and relaxed a little bit and turned to sit in the booth with your back against the wall and your feet hanging from the booth. You relaxed for the briefest of moments and time leaped forward. Your eyes shined in a golden hue and sparkles like the sun bouncing on water. (What color are your fucking eyes anyway, are the gold, or green or golden green or what. You have some gorgeous fucking eyes!) and you were tan, you face was as tan as I had ever seen it and you glad a tapestry of white lines where the sun had not reached because you never stop smiling. And you reached your hand out to me pushing it between the salt shaker and the Cholulu hot sauce towards me. You had pretended long enough and you needed a little bit too. fucking is one thing but love is another. and you knew i needed to touch you or I would wither before you.
I reached out and I took your hand. And then you smiled! It was the first genuine emotion you showed that day besides the calculated calm you tried to maintain, you big fucking fake! You smiled a gigantic fucking happy smile for just a moment, then you composed yourself and let go and said “that’s all you get” and I knew I was in for a long wait! And I thought “Is that really what your going with, your going to pretend after that gigantic fucking smile that you were just being benevolent”? And then I though “you sneaky little calculating shit” and then you went back to your game plan, to put me back in my bottle. You went quiet again, pensive really and I asked you what was strong and you said “nothing, I gotta go” and you stood up to leave.
We walked outside and said goodbye and you gave a one of those hugs women sometimes give where they make sure their tits and their pelvis don’t touch anything on the guy they are hugging, that kind of a hug! Then you said luv u and walked away. It was a little odd because it was like a goodbye and after you walked away I called out to you and you came back and talked a moment then you left. You were so beautiful. I knew you were on some level walking away from me and I simply wondered how long it would be? Turns out it was about a year and a half.
I’ll tell you what I wanted to do when you stood up to leave. I wanted to grab your wrist and spin you around and kiss your fucking mouth hard. To suck you tongue into my mouth and grab your ass and grind my cock against your pussy as I kissed you! But I had spilled bean dip in my shirt and I didn’t want to get any of it on you so I didn’t! That’s how good a fucking friend I am! When I make a mess with you so you have to do some laundry it’s not going to be over some bean dip!
- June 2, 2013 (diseasedbooks.com)
- When Love is TOXIC (cassandredayne.wordpress.com)
- Don’t Fuck Your Coworkers (bitchhissues.wordpress.com)
- I’m KIERAN FUCKING HUGHES bitch. (itsasecreticanttell.wordpress.com)
- His last fling before the ring. (vixenincognola.wordpress.com)
- Toy Story: Part V (saundrafox.wordpress.com)