The Screaming Snows
The falling snow screams at me
With romantic notions of you and I.
I cannot take my mind from you
And I question if I can go on
So many memories torture me:
The fall of your hair across your face,
The soft lines of your summer lips.
For so long I denied my lust for you
A chivalrous notion of courtly love? Perhaps.
But the truth is so much harder to bear.
I love you above all others and I’m afraid
Not of the passion that you fill me with.
But that if you were to become my lover
That this romance would be so powerful
That in the end you could not bear
To remain as my friend.
There are so many things about this woman that I dont understand. But what I do understand is that she is remarkable and unique in a way few people understand. I think I, am different from most people. I don’t tell very many people that I love them, and I don’t have sex with very many people. Maybe that makes me odd. To me and for me sex is an expression of how you feel and I have alwasy been careful so that I don’t change that for myself and how I feel by my own actions. Im not so concerned about what others do or think, but I don’t want to change the way I think by sleeping with someone that I dont care about. It would change me. So many times making love to someone has been something I have refrained from. But I want to make love with Anneliese because it is the truest expression of how I feel for her, but I fear that so many things have happened between us that I have screwed up that she wont be able to. But I don’t want that if it would someone tangle us in a way that would end our friendship. She means to much to me. Even so I know that if we made love it would strengthen our friendship. I will never stop caring for this woman.