Catnip and I went to lunch today and it was very hard for her and me as well, but it was good for me and her in a way as well.
I picked her up at her work and after we drove out of the parking lot she got a text from someone as we were about to turn into for the place we were going to for lunch.
She said don’t turn, go straight, then she said to me, “You’re not going to like this but you need to deal with it”. Then called a guy and they flirted a little. She said things like “I got you’re text…We’re you just at my work,.. did I just miss you…“ Which frankly made me jealous.
The she hung up and she was guarded and nervous and she said in a directive tone. “We were going to my sister’s house” which I had been to before and was in a suburb nearby. So I drove there and as we pulled up she said “Sorry keep going” and explained that she hadn’t though it through but that she couldn’t go to her sister house because her sister would ask who she was with and she couldn’t tell her sister she was with me. (she explained earlier that her family is suspicious about me).
The she drove to a neighborhood and showed me the house she is going to living in starting next week and she said “Now you know where to come and stake me after Monday” The she had me drive around a bit, basically circling the blocks, and then said “OK we can go to lunch.”
When we were about to pull to eat again she got another text and started shaking and said:
“We’re being followed, you need to take me back to work, I’m sorry, but I need you to just drop me off and not give me hug or anything, I’m sorry but can we just do that and I will call you back and we can go to lunch later and I will tell you what’s going on.” And I could tell she was scared.
I apologized and said I was sorry and that I didn’t mean to pry but that I needed to know what was going on. She told me she was being followed by her old boyfriend, the one that beat her up. Who I will now officially call “The Asshole” for easy reference.
She was scared and asked if a big black truck was following us. I said no because it there was not one, and because I was in that business for a while and I am always doing counter surveillance, there was no big truck.
She was a little relieved and I drove her to her work and she said went in and said “I will call you and let you know when we can go to lunch later in the day and tell you what’s going on.”
Soon after she got to work she texted me and said:
“He was at the DMV.. . he saw me get in a truck with you. Should be fine” I replied
“Call me when you can”
I called in about half an hour to ask what the hell was going on and she told me that she called “The Asshole” and kind of confronted him and he said yes he was there but that he was registering a new truck at the DMV not following her.
She explained that the text she received was from a guy friend that was just at her work as she was leaving. He told her in the text that her old boyfriend was watching her when she left work. That’s when she called him and talked with him. She didn’t know what he would say but she was scared and needed to know what was going on that’s why she told me I would have to deal with it because the conversation could have gone really weird about her old boyfriend, but she had to call.
Then she said that as we were driving to lunch again after the neighborhood she though he was following her. She was clearly scared.
The reason all of this was kind of good for me was that I know now that she is not seeing “The Asshole” She was scared. But sometimes people do things against their better judgment, but I’m sure she is not seeing him. That puts my mind at ease. At least she is not going to him to be beaten up.
And she told me this and a few other things that put my mind at ease. She explained how he never hurt her except when he was drunk and that she had never been scared about him seeing her and making a scene in public before but that the text had scared her.
After she talked with “The Asshole” she was no longer scared. She was mad at the guy who texted her because that guy jumped to a conclusion and his conclusion was wrong and it hurt her.
She also said it was good for her because while right now she was not scared, it was clear to her that she had been scared and that made her realize that while she loves the “The Asshole” , that there is a place in her that is scared of him and that she is doing the right thing staying away from him.
She also said it made it clear to her that it was hurting other people, like me. She said she was physically scared because of what happened, but also emotionally frightened as well. She said she is holding on to the hope that somehow at some point in the future she could work it out and that this would mean that there was not hope. She said she was also frightened because she knows that just being scared means it really over as well and she was going through a ton of emotions.
Either way, she called and spoke with me several times after that and confided her fears and basically just talked honestly and openly and it was nice. And there were several things that she did which clearly showed me that she wants to keep our relationship even though she had to protect and hid it, she wants to keep it. It was an emotional roller-coaster, but it was worth the ride.